Breaking up isn’t just for romantic relationships.
As with a romantic relationship, teenage friendships can sometimes be toxic. Here are a few things to look at when it comes to your friends:
. Sometimes people who claim to be friends don’t truly want to get to know the real you. Maybe they have created an image of you in their minds that isn’t a true reflection of who you are. Your friend seems to always find fault with you, your clothes or your behaviour. It may feel as if this person is always creating drama because of seemingly insignificant occurrences, even accusing you of untruths, e.g. flirting with someone they like, when this is not the case.
. We trust friends as allies and confidants, someone who can be happy for you or comfort you when something bad happens. A bitter friend tends to not be happy for you, or seems to be jealous of your achievements. You may have scored the winning try at rugby, but instead of telling you what a great job you have done a bitter friend will tell you everything you did wrong.
. Egotistical friends tend to make everything, even your time and life, about them. You talk and text for hours, but it seems that all you discuss is your friend and their problems and plans.
Given what is happening in someone’s life they might need more support or attention, but this shouldn’t always be the case. You should have a chance to share your stories and feelings. Friends should make time for each other – a friendship works both ways.
. Want to watch a movie, but it is always your friends choice? Have you ever made a decision and had a friend ignore you or had them claim they always know better? You may have a controlling friend. Controlling friends may always be ready with advice for your problems, or want you all to dress the same, but a true friend should give you the opportunity to make decisions and give your opinion.
Licensed clinical social work supervisor and self-published author Shannon Thomas told Teen Vogue honesty is important when you suspect you have a toxic friend.
“All friendships ebb and flow over time, and we can feel really close and then distant and back to close again,” she says. Thomas suggests taking the time to speak to your friend alone and tell them how you feel. Be honest – not accusing – and tell your friend how their behaviour is making you feel. If they choose to ignore your feelings and refuse to change their behaviour, it may be better to end the friendship.
